Atlantis, We Have A Problem
by Puddle-Jumper38
Summary: McKay asks for Sheppard to activate an Ancient machine, things don't go to plan, but what if the other expedition members don't get told? Atlantis, we have a problem!
1. Chapter 1:The Wrong Button

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Stargate Atlantis or any of the characters, no profit is being made… blah blah blah.

**Description:** McKay asks for Sheppard to activate an Ancient machine, things don't go to plan, but what if the other expedition memebers don't get told? Atlantis, we have a problem! Bad description... sorry about that.

**A/N:** Yeah, I know this has probably been done before, but I'm hoping people will still read…

A couple of my own characters are mentioned in this, people from SGA-8 and SGA-13, if you want to use them in your own story, please ask my permission first! :)

**CHAPTER ONE: THE WRONG BUTTON**

Sheppard stared doubtfully at the machine resting on McKay's lab table.

"You want me too activate it, but you don't know what it does, is that a good idea?" he questioned.

"Of course it is, how else am I supposed to find out what it does?" asked McKay impatiently. "Go on, use your supergene, I don't have all day you know, Zelenka and his science team have asked me to help them with another piece of Ancient tech."

Sheppard shrugged. "Okay, but if it blows up Atlantis then I get to blame you."

"What? Don't be ridiculous, it won't blow up Atlantis…I hope," muttered McKay.

Sheppard rolled his eyes and pressed the button that McKay had told him _should _give it power. The machine started humming to itself, then it began to glow.

Alright then," commented Sheppard. "I guess a lot of Ancient things glow…"

The humming sound got louder and the glowing got incredibly bright.

"McKay…" said Sheppard.

"Errm… maybe I told you to press the wrong button?" suggested McKay, backing away from the machine.

"Uh huh…" replied Sheppard, also backing away.

The machine's humming stopped abruptly, McKay and Sheppard looked at each other. The machine let off a pulse of bright white light, knocking them both unconscious.

_**,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,**_

When Sheppard woke up he found himself lying flat on his back looking up at the ceiling. He groaned and sat up. He heard another groan of to his left and looked around…and froze.

He was looking at himself.

Sheppard jumped to his feet, looking down at his hands, sure enough, there was no black wristband. He ran a hand through his hair, it was much shorter then it should have been.

"Ohhhh no," he complained… in McKay's voice.

He saw himself look up from the floor and then jump to his feet. "W-what?! But…?!"

Sheppard glared at him. "Get back to that machine, and fix this, _right now_!"

McKay stared, then also looked down at his hands. "Um… this is bad…"

"You're telling me?! I swear, if you don't fix this, then I will…" began Sheppard.

Sheppard and McKay's radios activated, cutting him off.

"_Colonel Sheppard and Doctor McKay, please report your status."_

Sheppard opened his mouth (or rather _McKay's_ mouth) to answer that they had a problem when McKay cut across him.

"We're fine, why?"

Sheppard turned angrily to McKay and muttered, "We are **NOT** fine."

McKay waved him quiet.

"_Really?"_ asked Carter. _"We just detected an energy spike from McKay's lab, I was told you were both in there."_

"Err… yeah we are… I just turned on the machine McKay's working on. McKay's got it under control," McKay replied, not liking talking about himself in third person.

"_Okay then," _said Carter. _"I'll leave you to it. Carter out."_

Sheppard glared at McKay. "Why did you say we're fine?!"

"They don't need to know anything's happened, I'll just switch us back and everything will be fine," McKay told him nervously.

"McKay! They need to know something's happening. Besides, what will you do if you can't fix it?" demanded Sheppard angrily.

"I will fix it," McKay snapped. "Anyway, I had a bet with Zelenka that I'd get this machine working without problems."

"Well I think there's been problems!" retorted Sheppard.

"Obviously," agreed McKay. "But Zelenka doesn't need to know that, and you know as well as I do that if Carter or Keller find out we'll we down in the infirmary having litres of blood removed from us via syringe!"

McKay was working as he talked.

Sheppard frowned thoughtfully. "You have a point there. Okay, get the damn machine to fix this."

"Uh…that could be difficult," McKay replied, looking up from his readings.

"Why's that?" asked Sheppard struggling to keep his annoyance under control. "You said you could fix it!"

"Errm…it seems this machine builds up power before it works… and it's just discharged. It needs time to build up enough power to work again." McKay glanced at Sheppard's watch. "I told Zelenka I'd help him with that piece of Ancient tech, that could be a problem."

"Okay, so you can't fix this right now. I'm gonna go brief Carter on what's happening," Sheppard told him.

"Wait! They don't need to know anything's happened, look, this won't take too long to power up, a day tops. We can pretend to be each other for that long, we're not going off world or anything," pleaded McKay.

Sheppard thought about it. "I guess it means avoiding having Keller take out litres of blood to run tests. Alright, a day tops. What do I do about Zelenka?"

McKay shrugged. "Just go and pretend you know what you're doing."

_**,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,**_

Sheppard stared blankly at the list of information that needed deciphering Zelenka had handed him on a laptop and silently cursed McKay for getting him into it.

He opened a solitaire game on the laptop, deciding it was better than what Zelenka had given him.

Zelenka's computer beeped and Zelenka looked up.

"Perfect! Rodney, how close are you to getting deciphering done?"

"Um…" replied Sheppard quickly minimising his solitaire game to look at the still encrypted information. "Nearly done."

"Good," said Zelenka, taking some more readings on the Ancient device.

Sheppard squinted at the Ancient writing and started pressing random keys, hoping he wasn't screwing up the information too badly. Languages had never been his strong point.

_**,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,**_

McKay looked at Sheppard's unfinished Performance Evaluations in Sheppard's barely used office, remembering the time he and Sheppard had discussed Performance Evaluations with Weir in Weir's office. Sheppard had given everyone excellent and above average.

McKay decided that if he was going to pretend to be Sheppard he'd have to do things Sheppard's way. McKay started to fill it in.

Major Evan Lorne – excellent

Lieutenant George Mills – above average

Captain Lance Harris – excellent

Sergeant Amy West – above average

Major Mickey Johnson – excellent

Lieutenant Jay Young – above average

Corporal Chris Newcorn – excellent

Captain Scott Powers – above average

McKay was happy at just how easy it all was… until Major Lorne turned up at the door

"Sir, good to see you doing some work." There was amusement in Lorne's tone.

McKay panicked at actually having to pretend to be Sheppard talking to him.

"Yeah?" _Act like Sheppard! Act like Sheppard!_ "I figured I had to get it done sometime."

Lorne grinned. "Well Ronon's got a message for you…"

_**,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,**_

Ronon walked into the mess hall to find McKay and Sheppard sitting down at the most remote far away table possible. For whatever reason McKay was yelling his head offat Sheppard, who didn't look a whole lot happier. Ronon walked up to them.

"Hi, guys," he greeted.

They stopped arguing immediately, which was sort of strange.

"Hi Ronon," replied McKay.

"Oh, um… hi," fumbled Sheppard and McKay sent him a particularly nasty glare.

"What were you yelling about?" asked Ronon, interested only because when McKay really started yelling like that it meant he was in a really bad mood and would usually complain to anyone who came near.

"Nothing," said Sheppard quickly.

McKay rolled his eyes and muttered something that sounded less then nice under his breath. "We were arguing about my apparent incompetence in fixing the Ancient device. The Colonel _dared_ to say Zelenka is smarter then me. And because I'm a stupid arrogant idiot I started yelling at him."

Ronon stared. Had McKay really just said that? Ronon found it possibly even more surprising that Sheppard now looked fuming with anger.

"Well I can't fly puddle jumpers properly!" retorted Sheppard, magically losing his American accent.

Ronon felt his mouth fall open.

"Colonel Carter and Zelenka are both at least ten times smarter then I, Meredith R. McKay!" yelled McKay loudly, causing half the mess hall to stare at him in shock.

"You take that back!" shouted Sheppard, making the other half of the mess turn to see what all the noise was about.

Ronon continued to stare at them both. "Are you guys feeling alright?"

"Yes, we're fine, why wouldn't we be?" Sheppard asked before hurrying off before Ronon could answer.

McKay just sighed and walked off in the opposite direction.

Teyla walked up to Ronon.

Ronon turned to her. "What d'you think of that?"

"I think… I believe that was one of the strangest conversations I have ever heard them have," admitted Teyla.

"I think there's something wrong with them," replied Ronon. "Do you think Carter needs to know?"

"I do not think we should inform Colonel Carter of this until we are sure something is wrong," answered Teyla.

"Yeah, you're right," agreed Ronon. "I don't really know her anyway."

_**,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,**_

Sheppard knew Ronon now knew something was wrong but he didn't really care. He hated being stuck in Zelenka's lab doing nothing.

He re-entered Zelenka's lab and Zelenka came up to him.

"Rodney, what did you do to Ancient writing?" he demanded.

"Um… nothing," replied Sheppard

"You must've done something," Zelenka told him. "Because the first line now reads; FLUTEJ PMTU ACTI PLATY BDUM TUD DEDET RITA! Do not tell me it is meant to say that, because I will not believe you!"

"Oh," answered Sheppard, realising that his random key tapping had actually done something. "That. Err… that was a test to see how good at translating you are."

"I still do not believe you," grumbled Zelenka.

"Too bad. It's true," Sheppard informed him. "I was worried you were getting rusty."

Zelenka swore in Czech. "Fix it!"

"What?" asked Sheppard.

"Whatever you did. Fix it!" complained Zelenka.

"Errm…" began Sheppard. "Uh… that was part of the test. You fix it."

Zelenka glared at him and then spoke rapidly in angry Czech.

**A/N:** well, there's the first chapter of that, finally. i've been working on this story for ages . now because most of this is written from Sheppard and McKay's third person POV i think it starts to get confusing it parts... please tell me if it gets too bad! reviews and constuctive critsism (did i spell that right?) are very welcome! infact they'll probably make me update quicker.


	2. Chapter 2: Off World

**A/N: **Thanks to everyone who reviewed! your reviews made a very happy morning for me... i should update this every two days, i have most the chapters written, but if you have anything you'd like to happen feel free to tell me and i'll see if i can fit it in! :) Anyways here's chapter two of McKay and Sheppard's unfortunateness...

**CHAPTER TWO: OFF WORLD  
**

Sheppard had been attempting to read Zelenka's incrediably complex readings of how to turn on and use the device for nearly two hours. He'd had enough, he was bored, restless and confused. Some of the readings randomly flashed red.

"That's it!" complained Sheppard loudly.

The whole science team, including Zelenka turned to stare at him.

"I've had it with this stupid machine!" Sheppard announced. "Zelenka make it light up!"

A couple of scientists exchanged a glance.

Zelenka just looked plain annoyed. "It does not light up."

"Well how do you expect me to know that?!" demanded Sheppard. "Lots of Ancient machines light up in some way or other..."

"If you had read my reading they would have told you," Zelenka told him, gesturing towards Sheppard's computer screen.

"Well I don't want to read this," snapped Sheppard, wondering if McKay was screwing up _his_ reputation. "And where the hell is Sheppard?"

"Rodney, are you okay?" asked Zelenka.

Sheppard stared at him. "I'll get back to you on that. Where's Sheppard?"

One of the other scientists spoke up. "I think he's in the gym, sparring Ronon."

Sheppard paled. "He's what?! CRAP!!!!!!!"

Sheppard turned and bolted out of the lab, leaving Zelenka and his stunned science team behind him.

_**,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,**_

McKay held his fighting stick out infront of him with shaking arms, Ronon thought he was Sheppard, so he wasn't going to go easy on him. McKay thought about it, it seemed when Ronon made out that he was going to hit you in the ribs, he was actually going to hit you in the head, and visa versa.

McKay and Ronon circled each other, then Ronon lifted his stick like he was going to hit McKay on the head. McKay moved his stick to cover his ribs.

McKay felt something hard impact with the top of his head and he crumpled to the floor.

Ronon stared down at him in surprise.

_**,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,**_

Sheppard raced down the hallways, 'round a corner, and ran straight into Lorne.

"Careful doc," said Lorne cheerfully. "I was wondering where you'd got to, Kavanagh said you were meant to be helping him with the ZPM."

Sheppard frowned, he did **not** want to screw up the ZPM. "Get Zelenka to see to the ZeePM."

Lorne raised his eyebrows at him. "Huh, I thought I'd never see it. You're losing your Canadian accent."

"I what?" questioned Sheppard.

Lorne grinned. "You said ZeePM, not ZedPM."

Sheppard sighed. "Damn."

"Yeah, it's too bad, we don't get to make fun of it anymore. Oh well, come on."

"Come on where?" asked Sheppard.

"If Zelenka's taking your job you need to do Zelenka's. You were making him go off world with us to check out Ancient ruins," Lorne reminded him.

Sheppard froze. "What? No way not a snowballs chance in hell! I will NOT leave this base."

"That's tough," said Ronon from behind him. "I'm going too and you're coming."

Sheppard realised that McKay babbled randomly when he didn't want to do something. "That's not fair, I won't go! I… err… already checked out Ancient ruins this week, I already have Ancient equipment to work on!"

Sheppard decided that he didn't like having to babble.

"You're coming," Lorne replied.

"No I'm not," Sheppard told him firmly, knowing that he couldn't work on the ZPM either for fear of completely killing their power source. "I'll find something else to do and send another scientist off world with you."

"Can I gag him?" Ronon requested.

Lorne just grinned again in reply. "I'll meet you two in the 'gate room once you've geared up."

_**,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,**_

Lorne turned around as Ronon and McKay entered the 'gate room. To his amusement McKay was gaged and his hands were tied. He was glaring around the 'gate room.

Lorne snorted. "I swear even your glares are starting to look like Sheppard's."

If anything McKay glared more. There was a muffled protest from behind the gag.

Chuck dialled the gate. Lorne noticed McKay looking around for possible escape routes form the room. The wormhole engaged, McKay tried to make a run for it, but Ronon grabbed his tied hands and dragged him through the gate. Lorne and his team followed.

_**,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,**_

McKay woke up in the infirmary with a pounding headache. He groaned.

Keller came over to him. "Colonel, how are you feeling?"

McKay groaned again, then looked at the clock and muttered to himself. "I could be helping Kavanagh maximise the ZedPM's power right now, I _should_ be."

Unfortunately, Keller heard him. "I think that's more in McKay's line of work. Although, Zelenka's handling that right now."

McKay frowned. "Why? Where's She… McKay?"

"He's off world." Keller smiled, oblivious to the alarmed look her patient had adopted. "Apparently Ronon actually bound and gaged him before dragging him through the gate."

"Nonononono! He can't be off world! You have got to be kidding me!" complained McKay, staring back at the very confused looking Keller.

"Are you okay?" asked Keller. "I heard you and McKay were acting strangely in the mess earlier."

"So what if we were? You can't be serious about She… McKay being off world!" protested McKay. "Oh I need to sort this out!"

McKay made to get out of bed, but Keller stopped him.

"I'm sorry Colonel, but you took a hard hit on your head, you're not going anywhere until I'm certain that you're going to be okay," Keller told him.

"You don't understand!" McKay replied. "God knows what bad effects that machine might have! And my hypoglycaemia, he doesn't take it seriously, nor my back damage!"

Keller frowned. "What machine? What are you talking about? You don't have hypoglycaemia!"

"Um…" stammered McKay. "Forget it, but if something bad happens, I get to blame you."

_**,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,**_

Zelenka walked up to Carter. "We have a problem!"

Carter turned around to face him. "Why? What is it? What's happened?"

Zelenka looked at her quite seriously. "Rodney's losing brain cells."

"Really?" asked Carter amused. "What makes you say that?"

"He scrambled up a whole load of Ancient writing this morning, he completely screwed it up, I had to take whole new readings and decipher that! Then, when I asked him about it, he claimed that he was testing my deciphering skills!" complained Zelenka.

"Huh. Well I'll speak to him about that when he gets back, he's gone off world in your place you know. You're on maximising the ZPM's power," Carter informed him.

Zelenka muttered something in Czech and left.

_**,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,**_

Sheppard stared at the Ancient control room he was meant to be working on. After Ronon had untied and ungagged him he'd reluctantly activated the place, but now he didn't know what to do with it, usually he would have been able to do _something_ but the outpost seemed to be a completely different design from any other one they'd come across. He pressed a button at random, hoping the outpost was self-destruct free. Nothing seemed to happen.

"Err… doc, what did you do?" asked Lorne.

"I pressed a button," Sheppard informed him. "Don't worry it wasn't big and red."

"You've made a light flash over here," Lorne told him.

"Crap," complained Sheppard. "Don't tell me it's a red flashing light."

"Nah," Lorne assured him. "It's blue, but it is flashing."

Sheppard sighed. "Let me have a look."

He walked over to the screen Lorne was looking at, sure enough there was a blue flashing light. Sheppard frowned; the screen kinda looked like a touch screen, he poked the blue flashing light. The screen changed, now showing a lot of Ancient writing.

"Ha! It must be the data core!" announced Sheppard, hoping he sounded like McKay and wondering if it really was the data core.

"Really?" asked Ronon, as Lorne raised an eyebrow.

"Yes," insisted Sheppard firmly, wondering what to do next and reminding himself that McKay talked while he worked. "If I just…"

He started tapping random places on the screen, then a button below. The roof promptly opened.

"Whoa!" exclaimed Lorne.

"Oops," muttered Sheppard.

"Did you know that was gonna happen?" asked Ronon.

"Well…" started Sheppard. "I knew it did something."

"Close it," advised Lorne. "With it open if the wraith come will be easier to spot."

"Okay," agreed Sheppard, and pressed the button directly below the one that had made the roof open. A section of the floor in the middle of the room retracted, luckily no-one had been standing on it.

"McKay!" yelled Lorne.

"Sorry," apologised Sheppard, staring at the retracted floor. He pressed both buttons again and the floor and roof both shut.

Ronon wearily eyed the part of the floor that had retracted.

Lorne didn't look too happy. "I thought you said you were the smartest person on Atlantis?!"

"I am," Sheppard defended.

"Then I would think you'd know better then to retract the floor!"

"I won't do it again," Sheppard assured him, moving to another console to press a yellow button. There was a whirring sound followed by some sort of metallic buzz.

"What was that?" asked Ronon wearily.

"Um…" began Sheppard, there was a loud explosion from just outside the outpost. "…a drone?"

Lorne, if possible, looked even angrier. "What are you trying to do?! Kill us?! So far you've had some pretty good attempts!"

_**,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,**_

Carter and Teyla walked up to Keller.

"What is it?" asked Carter.

Keller grimaced. "I'm really sorry to have to say this, but there's something wrong with Colonel Sheppard."

Teyla started frowning

Carter sighed. "What? Wasn't he hit on the head by Ronon?"

"That's the problem," Keller replied. "I've had to sedate him. He woke up and tried to leave, he was rambling about hypoglycaemia, something normal for McKay, but not Sheppard. Then he started muttering about a machine and seemed quite genuinely annoyed when he found out McKay was off world."

Carter smiled. "McKay didn't seem too happy about that himself, Lorne's even dialled back in to say McKay's requested Tatum's help. What do you thinks wrong with Sheppard?"

"I think he's got brain damage," said Keller quietly. "I ran a full brain scan and there was some abnormal activity, but nothing I would normally associate with brain damage. Still, his behaviour says differently."

"I'm sorry to hear that," replied Carter.

Keller nodded. "Me too."

Teyla opened her mouth as if to say something, then closed it as she decided better of it.

**A/N: **Well they're definitely both having lots of fun now! :D please review! (i asked nicely!)


	3. Chapter 3: Escape!

**A/N: **again, thanks for the reviews. In this chapter there's one of my OC's, he's the only one actaully in this story, but his name is Dr Frederick Tatum. he's a scientist with the ATA gene and he's a part of my team SGA-8... he and McKay tend to have loud shouting arguements whenever they meet! :) enjoy chapter 3!

**CHAPTER THREE: ESCAPE!!!**

Dr Frederick Tatum looked around the outpost. "This seems to be different to the other Ancient outposts we've found."

"Yeah, that's what I said," agreed Sheppard, forgetting that McKay didn't like Tatum.

Tatum frowned at him. "Have you had a look at the control crystals to check power levels yet?"

"Um… not yet," Sheppard told him. He had forgotten all about looking at the control crystals.

Tatum looked annoyed. "Why not? That's the first thing I would've done!"

"He found the data core," put in Ronon.

"Why didn't you say so?" complained Tatum. "Where is it?"

"Um…" started Sheppard, doubting it had actually been the data core.

"Here," replied Ronon, pointing.

Tatum walked over to it. "Why haven't you translated it?"

Sheppard resisted the urge to reply that it was because he had no idea how to, instead he sighed. "I didn't want to."

"Why not?" demanded Tatum.

"I was too busy opening and closing the roof." Sheppard told him sarcastiually, wondering what he was meant to do with the crystals Tatum had told him to look at. "What do I do with these?"

Tatum looked at him like he was mad. "You don't know?"

Sheppard figured McKay was usually the one giving scientific orders and he realised he probably should start acting more like McKay.

"Of course I do," he snapped, contradicting himself. "Now translate that!"

Tatum gave him a strange look then turned back to the Ancient information, frowning. "This isn't the data core."

Sheppard rolled his eyes and muttered under his breath. "Of course not."

Tatum chose to ignored him. "The strange thing is this is information about Ancient tech."

"Really?" asked Sheppard, confused. "Why would the Ancients want information on their own technology?"

"Good question." Tatum looked thoughtful, and read through some of the information then narrowed his eyes and looked at Sheppard.

"Hey, I'm just thinking out loud here," Sheppard began, not noticing Tatum's look. "What if this place isn't Ancient?"

"But it is," Tatum pointed out. "It's obviously of Ancient design, Colonel Sheppard could've seen that!"

"I'm planning the laundry duty roster for next week," muttered Sheppard. "Monday: Dr Tatum- all day. Tuesday: Dr Tatum- all day. Wednesday: Dr Tatum…"

"That's not fair!" complained Tatum, he saw Sheppard's glare. "Fine, what do you mean, 'What if its not Ancient?'"

Sheppard smirked. "Its setting out is different from other outposts we've found. So, what if this isn't an Ancient outpost, but a _replicator_ outpost."

"You're right!" Tatum looked up from the information. "We always assumed that the replicators knew everything about Ancient technology from the Ancients!"

"But it doesn't make sense to give them that much info when you don't trust 'em," added Sheppard.

"So the replicators obviously knew quite a lot of it from the Ancients, but they could have used places like this to find out the rest," finished Tatum.

"Exactly," Sheppard replied, wiring McKay's laptop up to some of the control crystals to make it look like he was actually doing something.

Tatum's attention was on the information again. "I bet we could learn a lot about Ancient machinery from this."

"Yeah, but so could the wraith if they find this," Sheppard pointed out. "Download some of the information so we can take it back with us to Atlantis, I really have to get back, I'm asked Sheppard to help me activate an Ancient machine."

Tatum shrugged. "Okay, it should only take about five minutes."

Sheppard gave him a quick nod and then retreated back with McKay's laptop as far as the wires would allow as one of the crystals he'd wired up made a strange buzzing sound."

Tatum glanced back at him. "What's the power level like on those crystals?"

"Um…"said Sheppard, then decided that they must have some power or they couldn't be powering the outpost… or buzzing. "It's good."

"You need to work with him more often," Ronon told Tatum. "That's the shortest answer he's ever given."

"Yeah," agreed Tatum looking over at Sheppard who was pressing random keys on the laptop. "Though I needed a longer answer and Zelenka would've known that. Maybe he is smarter then you."

Sheppard was getting really annoyed at having to act like McKay. He decided that he wasn't going to bother anymore, he wondered how long it would take for someone to notice and question him. It would work as a drill. To hell with McKay's bet with Zelenka.

"He is," Sheppard told Tatum. Then he went back to randomly tapping laptop keys, trying not to smirk at Ronon and Tatum's shocked looks.

"He said that this morning too," commented Ronon.

"That's…um… err… strange," muttered Tatum. "I think I'm in shock."

Sheppard snorted in amusement and then pressed 'enter'.

The control crystals that he'd wired up promptly exploded.

Sheppard jumped back in surprise as the explosion burnt his hand. Lorne came running back into the room.

"What happened?!" he asked.

"Errm," replied Sheppard, shaking his burnt hand. "I pressed 'enter'."

Lorne, Ronon and Tatum stared at him.

Sheppard shrugged apologetically. "They weren't meant to explode. Hey, uh, did you managed to download that information?"

Tatum frowned at him the grumbled, "Most of it, before you cut power!"

Lorne gave Sheppard a suspicious look. "I just checked into Atlantis, they want us back now." He stared at the burnt out control crystals. "It's probably just as well."

Sheppard had to agree with him. "True."

_**,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,**_

McKay woke up in the infirmary and opened his eyes… only to remember that Keller had sedated him after he'd tried to leave. McKay decided he'd had enough of being in Sheppard's body and that he would get power to the stupid machine if it cost him the ZPM. Well, maybe not the ZPM, but he was willing to give up a few scanners.

McKay looked around the infirmary to find all the medical staff crowded around a small screen, which was showing some sort of horse race. Keller was nowhere to be seen. McKay quickly got out of the bed and scurried out of the infirmary, he was pleased to note that no-one had got around to changing him into scrubs.

He hurried away from the infirmary toward his lab, his brain ticking over ideas to get power to the machine. He _could _use scanners, he'd be able to pull enough power from a few of them, but they'd probably never work again. There was always the chance the machine had already re-charged.

"Colonel?"

McKay stopped and turned to face Colonel Carter.

"Yeah?" he asked, pretending that he had every right to be where he was. It's couldn't be more then twenty meters to his lab. McKay was sure he had the worst luck possible.

"Aren't you meant to be in the infirmary?" questioned Carter.

"No," replied McKay quickly. "Why should I be in the infirmary, I'm fine."

McKay stopped himself before he started babbling.

Carter frowned. "Keller said she was going to keep you there for a while."

"Well, she must've changed her mind," answered McKay, attempting to act like Sheppard.

"Uh huh…" said Carter doubtfully, but let him keep walking past her.

The second McKay was around the next corner Carter switched on her radio.

"Doctor Keller, this is Colonel Carter…"

_**,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,**_

Sheppard stepped out of the 'gate and into Atlantis behind Ronon, Lorne and Tatum and quickly shoved his burnt hand into his pocket as Keller walked up to them.

"I'm afraid I have some bad news," she announced.

Sheppard briefly closed his eyes, hoping McKay hadn't gone and done something stupid.

"Sorry to be blunt but earlier today Colonel Sheppard took a hard hit to the head…" began Keller.

Sheppard rolled his eyes, then noticed that Ronon was looking guilty.

"He woke up about an hour ago acting strange we believe he may have some brain damage," Keller finished.

Lorne and Ronon looked shocked. Sheppard was quite insulted to see Tatum looking thoughtful. Sheppard suspected Keller's assumption had probably been made because of McKay's bad acting skills.

"Can we visit him?" asked Lorne.

"I've sedated him after he tried to get out of the infirmary but he should wake up soon, so…" started Keller.

"_Dr Keller, this is Colonel Carter, did you release Colonel Sheppard from the infirmary?" _Carter interrupted over Keller's radio.

Keller didn't look happy. "No, I didn't. Why?"

"_He just walked past me near the science labs."_

Sheppard slipped out of the Gateroom and set off at a jog for McKay's lab. Hopefully McKay had been heading back there because the machine had recharged.

_**,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,**_

McKay reached his lab to find the machine at 20% power, he grabbed a scanner off the desk and began to wire it up to the machine when Zelenka walked in.

Zelenka spoke surprisedly in Czech. "Colonel Sheppard?! What are you doing here?"

McKay turned around to face him. "Uh… nothing."

Zelenka stared at the partially wired up scanner, then back at McKay. He walked right up to the machine and examined it, then he stared at McKay again.

"But…? What are you…? Why are you…?" stumbled Zelenka.

"Err… I…" started McKay.

"_Colonel Sheppard, please report to the infirmary immediately."_

"I've gotta go," finished McKay and left the lab hurriedly… in the opposite direction to the infirmary.

_**,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,**_

Sheppard jogged into McKay's lab.

"McKay…needs to…exercise more," he panted to himself as he tried to get his breath back.

"Excuse me?" questioned Zelenka, standing up from behind the Ancient machine.

Sheppard blinked. "Oh, errm, hi, I didn't see you there."

"Did you just talk about yourself in third person?" asked Zelenka.

"No. I said; I think I need to exercise more," Sheppard informed him half-heartedly.

"Did you ask Colonel Sheppard to come here?" asked Zelenka looking at Sheppard suspiciously.

"Oh… yes, actually I was expecting him to still be here, do you know where he is?" questioned Sheppard.

"He is meant to be in the infirmary," Zelenka informed Sheppard. "But he went in the opposite direction!"

"Great thanks," Sheppard thanked Zelenka and then turned to leave without giving any sort of explanation.

"Wait!" called Zelenka. Sheppard stopped and looked at him. "What is going on?"

"What d'you mean?" asked Sheppard innocently.

"I wouldn't have thought you'd need Colonel Sheppard to wire up a machine, but I walk in here and he's doing just that! I know he's not dumb, but I didn't think he knew how to correctly wire up and Ancient scanner to transfer power to an Ancient machine!" complained Zelenka.

"Yeah, I, um… I taught him," replied Sheppard, still finding it difficult talking about himself in third person.

"Why?" demanded Zelenka. "Couldn't you ask a scientist to help you?"

"Sure easily. I was bored so I showed Sheppard how to wire it up. Anyway, gotta catch up to him, see you later." Sheppard left the lab.

Zelenka stared after him, puzzled. Then turned on his radio. "Colonel Carter come in."

"_Carter here. What's up?"_

"Has anybody else noticed anything strange about Rodney lately?" Zelenka asked.

"Yes, actually. Ronon, Teyla, Tatum and Lorne have all reported McKay acting a bit off character, starting this morning after you complained about McKay messing up some Ancient writing. I've sent Teyla, Ronon and SGA-8 looking for both him and Sheppard."

"Both of them?" asked Zelenka.

"_Yes,"_ Carter told him.

"I've seen both of them briefly in McKay's lab. They both left pretty quickly after I spoke to them," reported Zelenka.

"_Thanks, I'll get Teyla and Ronon to head your way. Carter out."_

**A/N: **again sugestions or helpful points are welcome! and reviews.... reviews are very welcome! :D


	4. Chapter 4: Hiding Places

**A/N:** Great reviews! thanks guys! :) i think some sentences in this chapter are a bit confusing or worded badly, so if you have an idea of how i could make them better please tell me! :)

**CHAPTER FOUR: HIDING PLACES**

McKay decided to wait until he was sure everyone had stopped looking for him and the Ancient machine had re-powered itself before he made his way back to his lab… and he knew the perfect place to wait it out.

He walked into Sheppard's incredibly messy office. It was perfect, three quarters of the expedition didn't even know Sheppard had an office and those who did knew it had barely been used. McKay sat down at the desk… just as an announcement boomed through the city.

_"Attention all expedition members it is believed there are alien entities in both Colonel Sheppard and Doctor McKay. If they are seen, please report it immediately."_

McKay frowned, wondering what had led them to that conclusion. He figured Sheppard had stopped pretending to be him. That was going to complicate things. Apparently they also hadn't expected him to have his radio with him.

_**,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,**_

Sheppard wondered where McKay had gone, obviously the scientist was hiding somewhere, but Sheppard couldn't figure out where. He decided to see if he could contact McKay by radio.

Sheppard attempted to turn on his radio, it didn't work. He took his head set off and examined it; it was very slightly melted. Sheppard realised some of the sparks from the Ancient crystals he'd accidentally blown up must've hit it. He ditched it on a table and continued walking.

Teyla came around the corner in front of him and stopped suddenly.

"Oh, hi Teyla," Sheppard greeted her. "Hey you don't happen to know where Sheppard is do you?"

Teyla smiled, Sheppard got the impression it was forced. "Yes, I believe he's in the control room."

"Thanks," Sheppard started, then remember they though he was mental. "Wait, shouldn't he be in the infirmary?"

"Yes, I forgot, they were just about to take him there. He is probably in the infirmary by now, in fact I was just on my way to see him, why don't you come with me?" asked Teyla.

Sheppard hesitated, something was wrong; Teyla had first said she though he was in the control room, then she'd said she was on her way to see him in the infirmary, which she was heading in the wrong direction for. She was also carrying a stunner as well as her 9mm. Sheppard decided that she didn't know where McKay was.

"No, it can wait. I just wanted his help turning on an Ancient data base that came with a machine we found recently," lied Sheppard. "Get Keller to tell me when she releases him."

Sheppard tried to walk past her; Teyla drew her stunner and fired. Sheppard dived out the way then scrambled back to his feet.

"What the hell was that for?!" he demanded, accidentally dropping all acting of being McKay.

Teyla aimed the stunner at him again. "I know you are not Doctor McKay. Drop your weapon and come with me."

Sheppard took a step back; not sure that he wanted to be locked up in Atlantis. "Errm… look, Teyla, I can explain…"

"Do not attempted to run away or I will stun you," Teyla warned him. "Drop Doctor McKay's weapon."

Sheppard decided he was going to give McKay twice-daily sparring lessons with Ronon and make him personally explain to Zelenka exactly what went wrong with the Ancient machine.

"Have you found McK… uh… Sheppard yet?"

"I told you he is in the infirmary. Drop your weapon."

Sheppard sighed. "I know he's not in the infirmary. Do you know where he is?"

Sheppard knew that McKay had probably buggered off to some place he wasn't going to be found easily.

"No, we do not know where he is," Teyla replied, Sheppard knew she would've said that even if they did know where he was. "Now drop your weapon and come with or I will have to stun you."

Sheppard nodded. "Alright."

He put McKay's knife and gun on the floor.

Teyla obviously suspected that whatever alien she thought had control of him knew unarmed fighting, or had more weapons because she fired her stunner at him anyway. Sheppard attempted to dodge it but failed.

_**,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,**_

McKay stared in surprise as Major Lorne walked into Sheppard's office, then stopped in his tracks as he saw him.

"Oh, hi, um, Major," said McKay, realising a bit too late that while Sheppard's office was a great place to hide because no-one knew about it, it only had one way in… and out.

Lorne pulled out his 9mm. "I know you're not Colonel Sheppard so don't try it. Put your weapons on the floor and then you're coming with me."

"Um… actually if it's all the same to you I'd rather stay here…" McKay knew there was nothing he could do to help his and Sheppard's situation in a jail cell.

"What I said wasn't optional," Lorne told him. "Put your weapons on the floor or I'm gunna have to shoot you in the leg."

McKay frowned slightly as he came up with a wildly improvised crazy escape plan.

"I don't think Sheppard would like that very much," he informed Lorne.

Lorne hesitated for a moment. McKay seized an arm-full of unfinished mission reports and threw them in Lorne's face before making a dash through the door as the major was temporarily blinded by paper.

_**,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,**_

Sheppard woke up as Teyla dragged him through a corridor, apparently the stunner hadn't hit him full on or he would still be unconscious. He found Teyla had tied his hands.

The distinctive thud, thud, thud, thud of someone running came from behind them. Teyla stopped and turned around, Sheppard cracked open an eyelid and saw himself (aka McKay) charge around the corner at full speed.

Teyla drew her stunner. Sheppard watched McKay skid to a halt and try to turn in to another corridor but he didn't quite stop in time and had to back up a bit before continuing, narrowly escaping a stun blast from Teyla's wraith stunner. She seemed to consider giving chase but changed her mind and put her stunner away, then she checked to make sure Sheppard was still unconscious, not noticing him quickly closing his eyes again.

"Colonel Carter," Teyla said into her radio. "I have just seen Colonel Sheppard… ophf!"

Sheppard put her stunner next to him on the ground, finding it difficult with his still tied hands.

"Sorry Teyla," he apologised as she lost consciousness. "If you'd let me explain what's going on I wouldn't have had to do that, I bet you'll get me back later with those cursed sticks of yours."

Sheppard took her knife and freed his hands; he took the knife and stunner with him and jogged after McKay. There was a transporter just around the corner, he was guessing the scientist hand transported himself as far from the 'gate room as possible, it would make sense.

_**,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,**_

McKay dived straight into a transporter and transported himself to the outer edges of the city; he was headed for one of the cities grounding stations. Grounding station three to be exact. It was one of the grounding stations Sheppard had attended to during the storm that had hit Atlantis back on Lantea. McKay had chosen it because it was possible one of the remotest places in the city (it was a 'brisk walk' away as he once put it) and it was the last place anyone would look for him. All he had to do was get there and sit tight until the machine powered up. Better still, grounding stations had two ways in and out.

"_Colonel Carter." _McKay's radio blurted out making him jump. _"I have just seen Colonel Sheppard… ophf!"_

Teyla's voice was cut off abruptly, then there was a distant thud from her end of the radio.

"Huh," he muttered to himself. "That was weird."

McKay wondered if Sheppard had anything to do with Teyla not managing to complete her sentence, it seemed unlikely considering he'd been unconscious.

"_Teyla?" _came Colonel Carter's voice._ "Teyla are you okay?" _

McKay realised Carter had been waiting for Teyla to continue.

"Teyla please respond."

McKay was beginning to think Teyla wasn't going to respond, maybe Sheppard had had something to do with it after all…

"_Colonel Carter," _reported Lorne. _"I've just found Teyla, she's stunned and there's no sign of Sheppard or McKay."_

"_Thank you Major, I'll direct a security team towards you," _Carter told him.

McKay sighed; Sheppard apparently did a good impression of being unconscious.

"_No point. There's a transporter too close, they could be anywhere by now," _Lorne answered Carter.

McKay started jogging, right now he didn't think it was in his best interests for Sheppard to find him either. Somehow he didn't think Sheppard was going to be too impressed that the rest of the expedition thought he was either crazy or possessed by an alien consciousness. Yes, it was definitely best to avoid Sheppard until the machine recharged.

_**,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,**_

"Colonel Sheppard!" called a voice.

From nothing more then simple habit, Sheppard turned around at the sound of his name. Doctor Frederick Tatum was behind him.

"Yeah?… hey, wait a second," spluttered Sheppard confused.

Tatum looked incredibly pleased with himself. "I thought so."

Sheppard was far from impressed. "How long have you known without telling anyone?"

Tatum shrugged. "I guessed in the outpost, the replicators researched into the machine that switched you guys. "He snorted thinking what it must be like pretending to be McKay. "Damn that must be annoying."

"Yeah, it is. Why didn't you _tell anyone_?!" complained Sheppard.

"I wasn't completely sure until I compared the machine to the replicators description of it," Tatum explained.

Sheppard was suitably irritated. "So because you weren't _sure_ you thought you'd just let the rest of the expedition hunt us down?"

"Something like that," Tatum agreed, Sheppard narrowed his eyes. "I can go tell Colonel Carter now if you want."

Sheppard looked thoughtful. "Actually no. Do you have a scanner with you?"

"Yes…" Tatum handed him a scanner.

Sheppard switched it to life signs detector. "I want to find McKay ASAP. Security teams travel in groups, McKay'll be on his own, he wasn't far in front of me and I'm pretty sure I've transported myself to the same place he went, so this should pick him up."

"Why do you want to find McKay? The machine doesn't have enough power to switch you back yet, I checked." Tatum was confused.

Sheppard narrowed his eyes again. "I know. I'm going to get him to the control room, even if I have to drag him, and I'm going to get him to announce, over the city's communications, exactly what happened. And I'd have him at gun point if shooting him wasn't equivalent to shooting myself!"

"Wow. You're really grumpy at him, aren't you?" asked Tatum.

"Yes, I am," Sheppard confirmed, then glanced down at the scanner. "Found him."

Sheppard walked off, leaving tatum standing in the middle of the corridor.

**A/N: **That chapter was unbelievable fun to write, i hope you all like it as much as i do. :) Chapter five will be the last chapter.


	5. Chapter 5: Run, McKay, Run!

**A/N: **Sorry this chapter took longer to post i just got SGA season 2 for my birthday, so i now have seasons 1 to 4 on dvd and have 80 episodes of Atlantis to watch, which would be why i've been... busy.

Anyways, here chapter five, the last chapter. it might be a bit confusing, it starts off as McKay and Sheppard's third person POV, changes to Carter's in the middle and changes back again for the end, so sorry if thats confusing.

**CHAPTER FIVE: RUN, McKAY, RUN!**

McKay arrived at the grounding station and sat down. It sure was a long walk, though he hadn't been as tired as usual, maybe Sheppard really was fitter then he was.

The door opened, making him jump and spin around.

Sheppard stood in the doorway, looking incredibly pissed and holding a stunner, not a good combination.

"Hey! Don't point a stunner at me!" complained McKay. "Come to think of it, why are you pointing a stunner at me?"

"Because I didn't think my 9mm was a good idea," Sheppard told him, then went on to explaining the real reason. "That machine still hasn't finished powering up and I've had it with Ancient technology, with Ancient writing and with being chased around the city! You're coming with me to the control room, you're going to turn on the cities communications and then you're going to announce to the whole expedition what mistakes you made!"

McKay frowned, then played just about the only card he had left. "But it hasn't been a day yet. You said you'd give me a day to fix this, so I still have time."

"I don't care what I said! We're been hunted down by our own people, in Atlantis, and you still want to protect you're bet with Zelenka?! Well I'm not going to put up with this for another second! You _will_ come back to the control room!" Sheppard was not happy.

McKay looked stubborn. "No. No, I won't."

"McKay," said Sheppard as calmly as he could. "You are going to the control room and I will stun you and drag you there if I have to!"

"I'm not going," McKay informed him, backing off slightly. "And I can out run you so you can't make me come!"

Sheppard looked very annoyed "That's it. I'm stunning you."

Sheppard fired his stunner at McKay, who dived out the way and made a run for it. Sheppard swore and locked the door he'd come in through, while sending a stun blast straight across McKay's path to prevent him from escaping.

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"Colonel Carter," called Chuck. "Colonel Sheppard has a radio and has left it on, we're picking up a conversation between him and Dr McKay."

Carter frowned. "McKay doesn't have a radio with him."

"I know," Chick told her. "You can hear him speaking in the background."

"Okay patch it through, but make in one way, I don't want them to hear us talking," Carter instructed.

"Yes ma'am," Chuck replied and patched it through.

"_You can't run very far in hear McKay!" _yelled what was definitely McKay's voice speaking in an American accent, he sounded in a bad mood.

Carter frowned and exchanged a glance with Chuck at the strangeness of the sentence.

"_Just because you've locked us in the stupid ground station and taken the doors Ancient crystals, doesn't mean I'm going to go to the control room or let myself be stunned!" _replied Sheppard.

Carter found herself getting confused.

"Why would he come to the control room?" she asked Chuck, who shrugged.

"I don't know."

"_I am going to stun you and drag you to the control room, and I honestly don't care how long it takes!" _McKay told Sheppard.

"_If you stun me, I assure you, you will have cold showers for weeks! And on top of that- uh oh," _Sheppard cut off as there was a sound in the background of a door being forced open and the familiar sound of Ronon's gun powering up.

Carter was thoroughly confused at McKay and Sheppard's conversation (it was strange even as far as aliens who are controlling someone went) but she breathed a sigh of relief that Ronon had arrived.

"_Oh great!" _exclaimed McKay._ "Why doesn't everyone just screw up my day even more!"_

Dr Tatum walked into the control room, looking amused.

"Dr Tatum!" called Carter. "I think you'll be pleased to know we think we've finally caught McKay and Sheppard."

Tatum snorted in amusement for some reason or other. "Really?"

"Yes, Ronon's caught up with them, we have their conversation on speaker."

"_Drop the stunner," _ordered Ronon.

Tatum smirked.

"_Why do I bother?" _grumbled McKay, there was a faint thud of the stunner hitting the floor_. "Look, Ronon, you've been told to look for us and probably stun us and put us in jail cells, but I'd like to tell Carter what's going on, so if we could go to the control room instead, we'd come quietly…"_

"_Drop the knife and I'll think about it," _Ronon said.

Carter watched Tatum raise her eyebrows and wondered why the scientist was entertained by the conversation.

"_Knife? Oh, damn, I still have Teyla's knife, don't I?" _realised McKay, there was another thud as he disarmed himself. _"There, now I'm unarmed. Happy?"_

"_No,"_ said Ronon. _"Where's Sheppard?"_

"_He's hiding behind the controls for the grounding station," _explained McKay, sound, if possible, more annoyed.

"_I'm armed!" _yelled Sheppard.

"_Shoot me then!" _taunted McKay. _"Go on! Come out and shoot me!"_

Carter was alarmed, then she frowned as Tatum sniggered.

"What?" she asked.

Tatum shook his head. "Forget it, private joke."

_"Very funny!"_ snapped Sheppard in answer to McKay's kind offer.

"_Guy pretending to be Sheppard, come out from behind the control console," _ordered Ronon.

"_You seriously might want to think about coming out," _growled McKay. _"Or you might find yourself off-duty for the rest of the month!"_

Carter blinked. "Huh?"

"_But it's only the second day of the month!" _objected Sheppard.

"_That's my point," _McKay replied.

"_Okay, okay, I'm coming out. Here's my gun." _There was a clatter of a gun been thrown across the floor.

"_What the…?"_ questioned Ronon, practically echoing Carter's thoughts.

Tatum was smiling again.

"_Carter," _said Ronon, unaware she'd heard the whole conversation. _"I've got both McKay and Sheppard and they're coming quietly to the control room."_

"Understood Ronon. We have a security team waiting." Carter herself was waiting for a good explanation to what was going on.

_**,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,**_

"I am not announcing to the whole city what's going on," McKay hissed to Sheppard as they neared the control room. "Maybe Carter, so we don't end up in jail cells, but not to the whole city."

"You will or I'll go ahead with that threat of keeping you off duty for a month, oh and no scientific projects either," Sheppard added.

"You can't do that if I don't tell them," McKay informed him. "Because they'll think you're an alien."

"If it comes to that, I'll explain to Carter myself and Tatum will back me up. He knows what the machine does and he figured out the rest."

"What?" protested McKay. "That's not fair! You cheated."

"That was not my idea of coming quietly," grunted Ronon as they entered the control room where they were met by Marines with P90's."

Ronon led Sheppard and McKay to Carter.

"I'd like a detailed explanation of what's going on," Carter told McKay and Sheppard. "And I'd like to know who you are."

"Could you turn the city-wide communications on," requested Sheppard, smiling to himself.

"Why?" asked Carter.

"McKay, would like to tell the entire expedition what's going on," Sheppard replied.

"I…" complained McKay, then saw Sheppard's expression. "Fine."

Carter frowned. "'McKay'?"

"Yes, that's right," Sheppard confirmed.

Carter nodded slowly. "Alright." She turned it on. "Go ahead."

McKay sighed. "Fine. Attention expedition memebers…"

"Particularly Zelenka," added Sheppard.

"Don't push it," grumbled McKay then continued. "As you know by now, I am not Colonel Sheppard. Neither am I some alien that has magically invaded the city without anyone noticing. I am Doctor Rodney McKay. My mind is in Colonel Sheppard's body and visa versa. This happened after some testing on a machine went wrong…"

"He means he made a mistake," put in Sheppard.

"Yes, whatever," snapped McKay, "Anyway, we decided not to tell anyone for unimportant reasons…"

"He had a bet with Zelenka that he'd figure out how to use the machine without problems," interrupted Sheppard.

"Okay! They get it!" McKay grumbled. "As it happens we may well be stuck like this for a bit longer while the machine recharges itself. So bear with us and know that I wouldn't have taken up your time with this pointless speech if I wasn't at gun point."

Carter turned off communications, her eyebrows raised.

"I'm not sure if I can believe that just yet," she told them.

"They're telling the truth," Tatum broke in. "I recently found out what the machine in question does and they're definitely telling the truth."

Carter stared at him for a moment then decided to dismiss that fact that he hadn't told her either. "Okay then. You two go and wait in the lab this machine's in, I'll come with you and I'm sure Zelenka will already be there waiting to help you power up the machine."

McKay let out a long groan, the next few hours were going to be _very _long.

**A/N: **Thanks for reading, please tell me if you liked or didn't like it! :)


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